


Broken Heart

by TiffanyF



Series: I swear [6]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**SPOILERS** Grave Danger. When Nicky is kidnapped Greg blacks out and breaks the family apart. Sixth in the "I Swear" universe. Will they get back together again? **MAJOR hanky alert** I don't own anything CSI related and am just playing around</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Grissom was in his office reviewing the last case Nick had been working on, hoping to find one piece of evidence that would lead him to his missing lover. He ignored all the sounds of the lab around him and the throbbing of the cuts on his face. All he wanted was to get Nick home safely. Gil hadn't told anyone but his lovers how worried he was when Ecklie split up the night shift. He wanted to be able to watch over his lovers, especially Nick, who was still recovering from being stalked in his own home and later by his parents. Gil trusted both young men with his life and his heart but he still worried. Nick had just smiled and told Gil how much he loved him and how happy he was that the split in shifts gave Greg a chance to go out in the field. That night Gil and Greg showed Nick exactly how much they loved and missed him.

Gil visibly jumped as the door to his office slammed shut behind his youngest lover. He was shocked to see tear tracks staining Greg's face.

"Greg," he said, standing up and moving quickly from behind his desk. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Greg repeated almost mockingly. "Nicky is missing and you're hiding away in your office."

"I'm looking for anything that can tell us where Nicky is," Gil replied, trying to stay calm. "Our only suspect is dead so it's down to the evidence now."

"This is all your fault," Greg hissed, backing away from Gil's outstretched hand. "If you hadn't been so politically stupid the shift wouldn't have been split and Nicky wouldn't be missing."

"Greg," Gil whispered, stunned beyond any rational comment.

"And if you hadn't insisted on us having both dogs Nick would've had Panther with him," Greg continued, brown eyes burning into shocked blue. "It's all your fault that Nick is gone and probably dead." He reached under the neckline of his shirt for the gold pendant he wore there. "I hate you," Greg snarled, breaking the chain and throwing the pendant to the floor before storming out of the office.

"Greg," Gil whispered again, eyes filling with tears as he felt the last part of his heart break. Moving slowly and stiffly, he picked up the broken gold chain, gently slid the pendant off and stared at it.

He wore its twin around his own neck. Nick had ordered the pendants for them in place of rings. Each of the gold disks had two letters engraved on them; either an "N" or "G", Nick's had two "Gs" on it. Blinking back tears Gil undid his own chain and slid Greg's pendant next to his. Gil vowed silently to bring Nick back alive for Greg, if only to see the young man smile again. Then Gil would quietly pack up and leave Vegas to start a new life somewhere else. Some place where a broken heart wouldn't matter.  
********************

When Greg got home in the morning, his shift having passed in a nightmare blur of emotions and pictures, he noticed how empty and dead the house felt. With Nick gone he expected nothing less, but Gil normally had music playing that time of day. But no matter how he strained his ears he could only hear the dogs on the yard. With a sigh he went to feed them and was surprised to only find solid black Panther in the yard.

There was something amiss in the bedroom and master bath too. It took Greg a minute to realize that some of Gil's clothes were missing as were his shaving kit and toothbrush. Further examination showed that Gil's keys were on the coffee table in the living room next to an envelope with Greg's name on it. Frowning, Greg picked it up and sat down to see what was going on.

~~Mr. Sanders,

I hope you do not mind my removal of a few of my more basic personal belongings while you were not at home. I'm leaving my keys to the house, garage and yard so you don't have to worry about any further invasion of your privacy.

I was unaware of your feelings prior to last night and for that I am sorry. I promise I will find Nicky for you as I cannot bear to see you unhappy. After that you won't have to worry about seeing me again. I ask only to be able to collect a few of my rarer books and my butterflies.

Please do not think I place any blame on your shoulders. I was the one who should have stopped things before they went too far regardless of what you and Nicky said two years ago. You are quite right, it is all my fault. I will not make such a mistake again.

I wish you and Nicky happiness in your lives together. I am sorry I have hurt you so badly.

~~Dr. Gil Grissom

Greg read the letter several times as stunned by the words as he was by the tears he could see staining the paper. His hand reached for his pendant, groping frantically for it when his hand encountered bare skin. Then in a rush the scene in Gil's office after he found out Nick's kidnapper was dead flooded Greg's mind.

"Oh my god, Gil!" Greg cried, dismayed at what he had done. With a few words spoken in anger Greg had most likely destroyed his lover. He grabbed his cell phone and called Gil, not surprised when he was sent directly to voice mail.

"Gil," Greg said. "Please, please come home. I love you so much and I'm so sorry for what I said. There's no excuse for it but I was in shock. You know I tend to talk without thinking first. I need you so much right now. Please, Gil, at least call me so we can talk about this. I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I love you so much. I can't lose you too. Gil, please come home. Please." He hung up, fell onto the sofa, curled up in a ball and sobbed out all the pain he felt as he heart contracted.  
********************

The sofa in his office was far from comfortable but Gil doubted he would have been able to sleep regardless of his location. Greg's last words to him kept echoing through his head along with the look on his face.

Gil finally gave up after a couple of hours, showered, changed and got ready for another night of searching for his lost lover. The web cam was a blessing and a curse; they could see Nick but not reassure him of anything. Plus Nick's parents were back in town and they were only barely civil to him.

When Gil checked his phone he found twenty calls from Greg placed throughout the four hours he'd allowed himself to try and sleep. He listened to them, his heart dead as Greg pleaded and begged him to come home and talk. The chain around his neck was heavy with both pendants; Gil planned to give them back to Nick before he left.

"Hey Gil," Catherine said from the door of his office. "You're here early."

"I didn't leave," Gil replied. "I stayed here."

"Gil are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Catherine," he replied, retreating behind his faÃ§ade with skilled ease.

She shut the door and looked at him closely. "No you're not," she said. "This is me you're talking to, Gil. I know what Nick means to you and you can't fool me. Making yourself sick by overworking and not sleeping will not bring Nick home any sooner."

"Catherine," Gil said, slight warning in his voice.

"Okay, okay," she replied, holding up both hands in surrender. "But I'm here if you want someone to talk to."  
********************

By the time night shift arrived at the labs Gil had been staring at the web cam and Nick for three hours, thinking about how soft Nick's hair was, how warm and tender his lips were and how much he loved him. Gil wanted nothing more than to reach through the wires and cables and hold Nick and never let him go. His heart stuttered as he realized he'd never do that again.

"Hey Gil," Greg said softly from the door. "How come you didn't return my phone calls? I've been waiting for you to call so we can talk. I couldn't sleep today and..." He trailed off as Grissom turned to look at him.

Greg almost recoiled at the empty, dead look in Gil's wonderful blue eyes. The eyes that had once looked at him with love and pride. His heart sank; he had done this to his lover.

"I don't think there's anything left to talk about, Greg," Gil said, his voice as dead as his eyes. "Now unless there was something important, I'm busy."

Greg reached out and put his hand on Gil's shoulder. "Gil," he whispered.

"Please don't call me that again," Grissom said, pulling away. "You were quite clear last night with what you wanted and how you felt. I'll bring Nicky home again but to do that I need to be left alone."

The young man watched in horror as his lover, boss and supervisor left the room, his walk almost as dead as his eyes and voice. He realized that Gil hadn't looked back.  
********************

Jim Brass found Greg in the break room looking as if he'd lost his best friend. Which he had, the detective realized with a shake of his head. "Hey, Greg, what's the good word?"

"There isn't one," Greg replied, his hand straying to the bare skin where his pendant usually was.

"You'll find him in time," Jim said. "I've never seen Gil so focused before. He'll find the answer, just you wait and see. Nicky will be back before you know it."

"It's already too late," Greg muttered. "Even if Nick comes back, it's too late."

"Why?" Jim asked.

Greg just shook his head before burying his face in his arms. He knew that Jim Brass had hurt Gil years ago and they were still friends. He also knew that while Brass knew about Gil and Nick he didn't know about Greg. There was no way the young man could tell the detective what was wrong.

Both Gil and Nick had warned Greg multiple times that his mouth and habit of speaking without thinking would get him in trouble some day. He hadn't wanted to believe them.

"Jim." Gil's voice broke into Greg's thoughts. "Help me get everyone together; I know where Nick is."

"How?" Brass demanded, standing up so fast his chair fell over.

"Bugs, Jim, bugs," Gil said, already on his way back out the door. "The ants in with him are only found in one place in Vegas."

"I knew you'd do it," Jim said.  
********************

Greg was in shock. Nick had been buried alive and was seconds away from killing himself when Gil found him. Greg had listened to Gil's voice soothing Nick when no one else could. He could hear the love and the desperation in Gil's voice and wondered if he was the only one who could.

Now Nick was in the hospital and his body was healing. Ecklie put the graveyard shift back together, giving in to Grissom's request without argument and the team was standing steady guard by Nick's bed.

Nick woke up in the middle of the night to very familiar fingers running through his hair. "Gil," he whispered. "Why aren't you at work?"

"I have the night off," Gil replied. "I wanted to wait and visit when I knew you'd remember me being here."

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

Gil took a deep breath. "Nicky, I love you so much and when you were taken it was all my fault," he started. "After I went to talk to your kidnapper Greg confronted me in my office. He blamed me for everything and told me, he told me..."

"What, Gil?"

"He hates me," Gil whispered. "He tore off his pendant and threw it at my feet. I've been sleeping in my office, Nicky. And now I've fulfilled my last promise to Greg."

Nick grabbed Gil's hand and laced their fingers together. "What?"

"To bring you back to him," Gil said. "Once you're home again I'll come by and pick up my things."

"What are you talking about?" Nick asked, panic blooming in his chest.

"I love you, Nicky and I love Greg but I won't force him to live with someone he hates," Gil said. He freed his hand to unclasp his pendant. "Here, this is yours," he said. "Greg's is on here too, I couldn't just leave it on my office floor."

"Gil, I just got you back," Nick said. "It was you and Greg that kept me alive in that box. Don't leave me like this, please."

Grissom leaned in and kissed Nick gently. "I had one try left in me and if Greg hates and blames me for your kidnapping then I won't force him to look at me anymore." He pressed the chain into Nick's hand. "I'll love you both forever, Nicky."

"Gil, you know how Greggo is," Nick said, fighting through his panic. "He talks without thinking all the time. I'm sure that's what happened here. Let's all sit down and talk, please. Don't just give up on everything we've built together."

"You didn't see the look on his face," Gil said. His hand strayed back to Nick's hair. "He meant every word he said. That's it, Nicky; he's broken me."

"Gil," Nick whispered. "Will you at least do me one last favor, please?"

"I don't think I could ever tell you no," Gil said, blinking back tears.

"Don't run until I'm out of here and back at work," Nick said. "Give me a chance to fix this."

The older man sighed and leaned down, burying his face against Nick's neck. "Okay, Nicky," he whispered. "Okay."  
********************

When Greg showed up at the hospital the next morning Nick was asleep. Greg sank into the chair next to the bed and studied his sleeping lover. A flash of gold caught his eye. Nick had a golden chain clutched in his right hand, two identical gold pendants resting against the sheets. Greg's heart sank as he realized each disk had an "N" and "G" on them. It was Gil's chain with both their pendants on it. That explained why Greg hadn't been able to find his in Grissom's office.

"He's leaving," Nick said softly.

"What?"

"Gil; he's leaving Vegas," Nick replied, opening his eyes. "He's leaving us. Greg, what did you do?"

Greg folded his arms on the bed and buried his face in them. "I don't know what happened, Nicky," he said, voice muffled. "When you were kidnapped I realized that we'd had Panther and I remembered Grissom borrowing him from you. Then when Grissom came back injured and told us that Gordon blew himself up it all just snowballed. I don't know what happened. But I remember what I said to him and what I did." He lifted his head and met Nick's eyes. "I've killed him, haven't I? I destroyed our family and killed Gil."

"Greg, you know his history," Nick said. "Why did you tell him you hated him?"

"I guess I wanted him to hurt as much as I was," Greg said.

Nick sighed. "I was missing and he'd just watched a man, the only person who knew where I was, blow himself up," Nick said. "Why didn't you realize how much he had to be hurting already? It shouldn't have ever been about one of you hurting more than the other."

"What did he say last night?" Greg asked.

"He cried, Greg," Nick said. "Gil told me he's living at the lab so you won't be forced to see someone you hate."

"But I don't hate him!" Greg cried. "How could I hate him when he's given me so much love and support? How are we going to fix this, Nicky? We just got you back again. The only thing that kept me going was thinking about having you home again, in bed with us. All three of us together again."

"Greg, why do you keep calling him Grissom?" Nick asked.

The young man hid his face again. "He told me I can't call him Gil anymore," he said. "His eyes and voice were dead. This was at the lab when he was watching you. That's when I realized how much I'd hurt him. But he won't listen to me."

"Well I know Gil hasn't been sleeping but what about you?" Nick asked.

"No, I've been lying on the living room sofa," Greg said. "Our bed is too big and empty. I know this is all my fault and I want to fix it more than I've wanted anything in my life."

Nick sighed. "It's not going to be that easy," he said. "Gil told both of us that words spoken in anger are the hardest to take back and the hardest to forget. His heart is broken and I don't know how we can mend it again. I don't know if we can."

"I don't want to live without him," Greg said. "I can't live without either of you."

"Me neither," Nick sighed. "He promised me he won't do anything until I'm out of here and back to the lab so we've got some time. Let me think and I'll see what I can come up with."  
********************

Everyone at the lab noticed the tension between Grissom and Greg and also how withdrawn Grissom had once again become. For a while there he'd been, for him, open and approachable. Finally Catherine cornered Greg in the garage. "Spill," she ordered.

"What?" Greg asked, looking at the bucket in his hands.

"Not the water, Greg," Catherine said. "Something happened between you and Gil and I want to know what it is because it's starting to affect the lab."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Greg said. "I've got to finish processing this car."

Catherine pinned him with a look. "I don't care if you're lying to me, Greg; I'll find out the truth," she said. "It'll just take me a little longer."

He ignored her as she stormed out of the garage. Greg knew it was childish but his heart was broken over how much pain he was causing his oldest lover. He didn't care about anything other than fixing the situation and getting Gil home again.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick looked so peaceful when Gil peeked into his room that, for a minute, he just stood and looked at the man who still held half his heart. He hated that he had to hurt Nick so badly, but every time Gil closed his eyes he saw Greg's face twisted with loathing and heard him say he hated Gil. And the noise Greg's pendant made as it hit the floor.

"Have you been sleeping?" Nick asked softly, holding out his good hand.

"No," Gil admitted. He brought Nick's hand to his mouth for a kiss before interlacing their fingers. "With you in the hospital and everything else I just can't. I came to say good-bye, Nicky. The tension between Greg and me is tearing the lab apart. It's better if one of us leaves and he's got his whole life ahead of him. No one will miss me, no one but you."

"But you're coming back, right?" Nick asked, panic rising in his chest and voice.

"I don't know," Gil said. "There's nothing in Vegas for me anymore. You and Greg have each other. Take care of him for me, Nicky. Even if he does hate me for this I still love him."

"Gil, please don't leave me," Nick pleaded, tears finally falling. "Don't leave us like this. Please stay and talk. I know it will work out if you just trust me."

Grissom carefully wiped away Nick's tears. "I can't," he said softly. "I see him every day at the lab and he won't even look at me. He won't stay in a room with me, he just runs. There's nothing left for me at all."

"Gil, he's ashamed and upset," Nick protested. "He told me your eyes are dead and he can't bear to look and see how much he hurt you. Greg's been sleeping on the living room sofa because the bed scares him. It's too big and empty, just like our lives will be if you leave us."

"Evidence, Nicky," Gil said softly. "It's the one thing that can never lie and Greg's actions are evidence. When he tore off the pendant he tore up my heart. I knew I was going to make myself vulnerable by opening to both of you but I love you so much the risk was worth it. I'm sure he's come up with an explanation for his actions but I can't do it again."

"Gil," Nick said, pulling the older man down for a hug. "They're letting me out of here the day after tomorrow. Will you come pick me up and take me home? I want to feel you one more time."

"No," Gil said. "Because you'll have Greg waiting either here or at the house waiting to trap me. I told you, Nick, I'm not going to force my presence on him."

"Where are you going?"

"A convention back east," Gil said. "After that I don't know. But I'm leaving Nevyn here for Greg. I want to know that you both have good protection in the field and at the lab."

"What about you?" Nick asked.

"It doesn't matter," Gil replied. "I don't have anything left to live for." He kissed the younger man gently. "Good-bye, Nicky."  
********************

Jim Brass was a little annoyed when his cell phone started ringing at three in the morning on his night off. "What?"

"Jim, it's Nick, you've got to find Gil," Nick's frantic voice said. "He just left my hospital room and I think he's going to try and kill himself. The doctors won't let me leave so you're my only hope. Please, Jim, find him and put him in protective custody, something."

"Whoa, slow down Nick," Jim said. "What do you mean Gil's going to kill himself?"

"I'll explain everything but please put out an APB on his Tahoe and get him to your office or house or something," Nick said. "Jim, I can't live without him and I'm stuck here helpless. Please."

"Okay, okay, calm down. Hold on." Jim put Nick on hold and called dispatch and asked that Gil be picked up and brought to his office. "All right, Nick; spill," Jim said a couple of minutes later. "I'm on my way out the door right now."

"This isn't how I would have chosen for you to find out," Nick said, sounding a tad calmer. "Hell, we were hoping you'd never find out because you'd probably freak and turn on Gil again. When Gil and I got together it wasn't just us. There was a third person, another lover."

"What?" Jim exclaimed, almost dropping his phone.

Nick sighed. "It happens, Jim," he said. "Are you going to do anything stupid now that you know? If you are, could you wait until we get our family back together because right now Gil is totally broken. I don't think he needs any crap from you."

"No, it's a shock, but I'll manage for now," Jim said. "But if you're going to spring any more surprises on me do it now before I start driving."

"It's Greg Sanders," Nick said. He paused, obviously waiting for Jim to say something. "Okay, so when I was kidnapped Greg told Gil that he hates him and tore off his pendant."

"Those necklaces you all wear?" Jim asked. "What, it's like a wedding ring or something?"

"Yeah," Nick replied. "So Gil, having been hurt before is more or less dead. He's leaving Vegas soon, I don't know when, but before he left my hospital room tonight he said he had nothing left to live for and told me good-bye. We never say anything like that. We're always very careful to say things like see you later, or see you soon. Jim, he's really depressed and I don't think he's thinking clearly right now. He probably thinks he is, but he's not."

It was Jim's turn to sigh. "So what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Gil will probably never forgive me for this, but I want you to take him to our house and cuff him to our bed," Nick said. "I'm going to make Gil understand once and for all that some words can be taken back."

"Good luck, you know how stubborn he can be," Jim snorted.

"Yeah, but I can be very persuasive," Nick said.  
********************

"Jim, let me go," Gil said as his friend walked into his office.

"No," Jim replied, sitting down behind his desk. "I got a very disturbing phone call about an hour ago from a frantic young man who seems to think you're about to kill yourself. So we're going to have a nice chat and then I'm taking you home."

"I don't have a home any more," Gil said.

"Yeah you do, and I have a key and the security code," Jim said. "Talk to me, Gil. What's going on in that crazy mind of yours? And you don't have to hold anything back, by the way. Nick told me everything when he called to have you picked up."

Gil was stunned by what he saw as a final betrayal of his trust. "What?"

"Oh, do you think I'm going to say or do anything different than last time?" Jim asked. "So your family is a little bigger than you originally led me to believe. I've been doing some reading since I found out and I'm not going to freak out on you. I told you that was a knee-jerk reaction and it wouldn't happen again. Now I know you know how I interrogate people so it won't work for me to try it on you. So just think of me as a concerned friend who's been watching as his best friend fall apart."

"I'm fine, Jim."

"Sure you are, Gil," Brass said. "That's why it looks like you haven't slept since before Nicky was kidnapped. I know you've been sleeping in your office and I know you're only calling it sleep so no one will worry about you. And I know what happened after you came back from talking with Gordon."

Grissom slumped down in the chair. "So go ahead and laugh at the foolish old man who thought he had something wonderful," he said. "Something worth risking his heart on."

"Oh come on, Gil, this isn't like you," Jim said. "I've seen you bounce back from things far worse than this without even blinking. You've got a young man in the hospital who needs you right now and what are you doing? You're heaping more troubles on him rather than helping him through his. Nicky was buried alive. You really think he's going to just bounce back from that? Hell, I saw him in that coffin. There's no way anyone would've called him all right, let alone sane. And he wakes up only to find that his family has fallen apart. That's real nice, Gil. Real mature."

"I've been to the hospital and talked with him, Jim," Gil said. "And I know Greg has too. If I thought I could do more good by staying and helping Nick then I would. But he doesn't need the tension that Greg and I are generating right now. He needs quiet time to heal and Greg can help him do that."

"And what if he doesn't want Greg to be the only one to help him?" Jim asked. "What if he wants you there too?"

"We don't always get what we want in life," Gil replied bitterly. "You know that and I know that. Maybe its time the younger generation learns it too."

Jim laughed. "Okay, I see how this is going to go," he said. "Come on, Gil. We're going for a little drive."

"And if I refuse?"

"You're in my custody," Jim said. "Do you want to go out of here in cuffs? I think that'd look real good to the people you work with. I'll do it if I think you're going to fight me but I'd rather not. Let's just be two friends going for a ride."

"I thought you were my friend," Gil said.

"I am," Jim replied. "It's why I haven't punched you yet."  
********************

The drive to the house Gil, Nick and Greg bought a little over a year ago was silent. Jim had never been to the house, having not known about Greg, but Nick gave good, concise directions.

"This is nice, Gil," Jim said as he parked in the driveway. "Isolated, private, and just what I would expect from you." He looked over at his friend and almost laughed. "Nicky didn't warn me you did such a good impression of a five-year-old pouting. It won't work on me either. We're going inside and straight to the bedroom."

Grissom's head whipped around and he stared at his friend in shock.

"Hey, I'm flattered, Gil," Jim said. "But you're not my type. I have strict orders from Nick. You're to be handcuffed to the bed in the master bedroom until he comes home."

"I'm never going to forgive you for this, Jim."

Brass paused, one foot out of the car. "I'd never forgive myself if I let you run from the best thing that ever happened to you," he said. "And I'll hunt you down and kill you if you ever hurt Greg or Nicky."  
********************

"Y'know, what I don't understand is why you're so scared to talk with Greg," Brass said once he had his best friend secured. The thought flashed through his mind that this was the first and last time he'd ever handcuff someone to a bed. "I've seen him around the lab and he looks as sick as you do; you just hide it better. Are you just scared to find out you're wrong and you'll look like a fool?"

"I'm not scared," Gil said quietly, almost ignoring Brass.

"Sure, Gil," Jim said. "When I walked in on you and that Rick guy I called you some really foul things and it was all worse than what Greg said to you. You gave me another chance, Gil. Why can't you give Greg one? Don't you think you should at least hear him out?"

Grissom turned his head and pinned Brass with one of his more icy glares. "Well, for one thing, Jim, you've never had your cock up my ass," he said. "It makes a difference."

"That's a picture I don't need," Jim said. "I'm going to sack out in your guest room." He stood up and looked down at his friend. "I want you to drink that water I brought in and think about what your life will be like if you walk away from these two young men. You need to think about how much they love you and what you'll lose." He paused in the doorway. "Yell when you need to go to the bathroom."


	3. Chapter 3

Nick had called Greg and told him Gil was home and asked that he take care of their older lover instead of going to the hospital after work. So Greg was floating as he pulled into the driveway and made his way into the house.

"Jim!" Greg yelped when he saw the detective sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought Gil home last night," Jim replied. "It wasn't easy either. That man has a stubborn streak that'd put a mule to shame."

"But if you're here then that means you found out and you can't find out because you'll hate Grissom and he'll have to leave the lab and it'll all be my fault."

"Greg, sit down, please," Jim said. "Look, Nicky panicked last night and asked for my help with Gil. Nick told me everything, including what those pendants of yours really mean. I'm not going to turn on Gil; I want to help him out because he's seriously messed up right now."

The young man buried his face in his hands. "I know and it's all my fault," he groaned, although his voice was muffled. "I let me tempter get the best of me and I've lost one of the most important men in my life."

"Not yet you haven't. You'll have to do a lot of groveling and work to prove to Gil exactly how much you do love him," Jim said. "I've got to work tonight but I'll pick Nick up in the morning and bring him home."

"Where is Grissom?"

Brass sighed. "Secured to your bed," he said. "I'll leave you the keys but don't uncuff him until Nick is home or he has to go to the bathroom."

"Maybe you shouldn't leave the keys," Greg said. "Grissom isn't going to want to deal with me and I'm not strong enough to go against him."

"You, young man, will go and talk to Gil," Jim said sternly. "I'll sack out here again and change before I go in tonight. I'm not going to let Gil ruin the lives of two people because he's so damn stubborn."

"He didn't ruin this, I did," Greg protested, his eyes filling with tears. "I told him I hate him and it killed something in him. I had to go and open my big mouth and hurt him."

"That's enough, Greg," Jim stated. "Go on up to your room and talk to Gil. Do not let him intimidate you. He's not your boss here and he needs to listen to what you have to say. He's a stubborn bastard but even if he doesn't acknowledge you, he'll hear you and he'll think about what you say. Go on, and if he hurts you, he'll have to deal with me and Nick."  
********************

Grissom was lying in the middle of the king sized bed, one arm secure to the bed frame, allowing him a limited range of movement. He still wasn't sure exactly how he'd gotten into this particular situation but he figured biding his time until someone turned him loose was the most logical plan. He didn't move as the door opened and Greg came slowly into the room. It was immediately obvious to Gil that the younger man had showered as he smelled like vanilla. Grissom tried to keep his tears from falling as he realized he'd given Greg that shampoo and body wash because he loved the scent so much.

Gil waited for Greg to say something, to start pleading for forgiveness and was surprised when the young man simply climbed into the bed next to him, wrapped his long arms and legs around him and used his shoulder for a pillow. Part of Gil wanted to protest, to tell Greg to let him go but it felt so good to be held by the young man again, he found he just couldn't find his voice to protest.

"I've missed you," Greg said softly. "It's all my fault you had to run away like you did, I don't deny it, but I've still missed you. I've tried to think of a way to tell you how wrong it was of me to hurt you like I did. I didn't even really remember what happened until I read your note; it was like I blacked out or something when I found out about Nicky. I needed to lash out at someone, to hurt someone, and I chose you. I was completely out of line and I know it."

Gil stayed still, staring at the ceiling. He had been expecting Greg to say something like this so he wasn't surprised or moved when he heard the words. But he was when he felt tears soaking into his shirt. Gil's first instinct was to pull the younger man in close to him and calm him down. But he was still hurting and forced himself to stay still and relaxed.

"I'm sorry," Greg sobbed, burrowing in closer to Gil's chest. "I just can't stop crying whenever I'm home. Nicky almost died and you saved him and now you're hurting and it's all my fault. It kills me to see you at the lab and how dead your eyes are and know that I put that look there. I caused these wonderful blue eyes to die. I love you so much, Gil, and I want you to come back to me. I need you so much. You keep me sane even when you're driving me crazy. How could I not love you? It would be like asking me not to breathe. I'd like nothing more than to kiss and make love to you, to show you how much I do love you. I got my pendant fixed and its back where it belongs. But we need you here too or life is pointless and Nicky and I might as well be dead because without you our lives have no meaning."

"What do you want me to say?" Gil asked, his voice as bland as he could make it. "That I forgive you? That it's all in the past, that I love you? I have never stopped loving you, Greg, but you can't just turn around after what you did and expect everything to be fine again."

Greg snuggled in closer to Gil. "I know it can't," he whispered. "I did something so mean and cruel I don't blame you for wanting to leave. But if you are going to leave, if you're going to be selfish and hurt Nicky so badly because I'm an idiot who can't keep his mouth shut, then I want you to listen to me now." He kissed Gil's neck gently, aiming for the spot just under Gil's ear that always drove him mad. "I wish I could take back every nasty word and action I said and did at the lab. Just make them vanish along with the pain I caused you. But I can't and you want to leave." Greg paused for a minute to kiss each of the blue eyes gently. "Nicky is coming home tomorrow and he's going to need a lot of help to get past what happened to him. If you leave then his parents will be able to declare all his legal papers void and take him back to Texas. He'll be stuck with the people who stalked and almost destroyed him."

"They promised not to," Gil said, still keeping his voice as bland as possible. He was also fighting a battle with his body. It had decided he'd been away from Greg too long and it was time to play catch up.

"They promised you they wouldn't," Greg said. "That's because they're scared of you. But if you leave they won't listen to Nicky or me and I'll lose you both. Our home will be gone and so will the dogs. The lab will fall apart and Ecklie will come to even more power than he has now." Greg gathered up all his courage and leaned in to kiss Gil softly, just allowing a gentle press of lip on lip.

Grissom was a strong man, one who knew his mind, but it had been close to a week since he had been kissed by Greg and he could feel his resolve melting. But rather than give in, he pushed at the younger man's chest. "Greg, stop," he panted. "Just stop; you can't make everything okay by seducing me."

"Follow the evidence, Gil," Greg said, pressing in tighter against his lover. "Would I be in this bed if I hated you? Would I be trying to seduce you if I couldn't stand to look at you?" He kissed Gil again, this time allowing his tongue to slip out and tease at the older man's lips. "Even if I were just doing this for Nicky, would I seem so eager? I want to feel you inside me again, Gil. You were my first and I want you so bad it hurts. Can you do that for me, Gil? Can you take me again?"

"Not like this," Gil said, indicating the arm cuffed to the bed. "And I still think it's a bad idea to get even more emotion involved here. You were quite clear at the lab."

Greg sighed and shifted around so he was straddling his lover. "Brass was right, a mule is downright agreeable compared to you," he muttered. "Gil, I spoke without thinking. I didn't even realize exactly what I had done until I found your note. I'm young and stupid and need you so much."

"Greg, I don't know that I have another try in me," Gil admitted.

"Yes you do, Gil," Greg said. "Give me six months to prove how much I love you. We have a guest room you can move into. Just don't leave us like this. If you walk out the front door you'll kill both Nicky and me. You're the glue that keeps us together and sane. Without you I don't think Nicky and I are strong enough to make it to forever. Just give us, give me a chance to fix this, Gil."

Grissom was fighting to stay strong, to hold to his original plan, but Greg was presenting more evidence than even Gil with a broken heart could ignore. The young man currently straddling his hips was naked and hard and Gil found his mouth almost watering at the thought of tasting Greg again.

"I still think this is a really bad idea," Gil finally said. "But I need you too, Greg."

The young man leaned down and met Gil halfway, moaning into the kiss as his lover took possession of his mouth. "What do you want, Gil?" Greg panted, once the need for oxygen forced them apart.

"To be in you," Grissom replied. "But I can't move, are you willing to do all the work?"

Greg smiled for the first time since Nick was kidnapped and Gil felt his heart skip. He watched the young man dig out the vanilla oil from the bedside table and started as he felt warm, slick hands coating his erection. "Greg, wait," Gil gasped. "Not like this, you have to be stretched."

"But I want it to hurt," Greg said. "I want to hurt as bad as I hurt you."

"No," Gil said. "I vowed never to let any harm come to you or Nick. I failed Nicky but I'm not failing you too. Either I stretch you or we stop."

"You didn't fail Nick," Greg said, pouring some oil on Gil's left hand. He moaned as a finger penetrated him. "Neither of us did, we were all victims of a political play at the labs and you came through in the end. More, please."

Gil eased a second finger into his lover's tight ass and started the scissoring motion that would stretch the muscles for him. He knew this would be the first time for Greg in this position and Gil was a little concerned about hurting the younger man. Gil was also very concerned about Greg's insistence that he needed to be hurt to make up for hurting Gil. He made a mental note to ask Nicky to help him talk to Greg about it once all three of them were back together.

"Please, Gil, I'm ready," Greg moaned, his head lolling as he pushed back against the invading fingers.

"Greg, listen to me," Gil said. "You'll have to go slow, the stretch is different in this position and I don't want you to hurt yourself. If you do you won't be able to welcome Nicky home."

"Okay," Greg said, willing to agree to anything by that point if it meant he got to feel his lover in him again.

Gil gripped Greg's right hip with his left hand as the younger man eased back and down onto Gil's erection. He gasped at how tight Greg was and tried to think back to the last time he or Nicky had taken their young lover. It had been close to a month and Gil was starting to worry that he should have been more thorough in prepping his lover when Greg settled back to allow his body time to adjust.

"I'm not sure I like this position," Greg panted. "I can't kiss you."

Gil thought for a minute. "Shift off and lie on your right with your back to me," he finally said. "Maybe if I put my arm over my head it'll work."

Greg knew his older lover wasn't one for gymnastics in bed, Gil's body protested too much, and he was touched. "That's better," Greg groaned as Gil pushed back into him. He twisted his head around and took Gil's lips in a bruising kiss.

Grissom was overwhelmed by the sensations and feelings running through his body. He'd been so sure that leaving his lovers was the right course of action but now he just wasn't sure. Greg was right about one thing, the three of them created a balance that was perfect. Maybe with time and effort he did have another try left in him.

"Gil, move please," Greg moaned. He reached up with his right hand and laced his fingers with his lover's. He cried out as Gil pulled back, not liking the empty sensation at all, and groaned as he was filled again; the older man setting a slow pace.

Greg was more vocal than Gil ever remembered him being, moaning or crying out at each thrust. Gil tried to memorize every sound Greg made, his taste and texture. The older man was a realist and he realized that even after six months he might have to leave; that everything happening could be an elaborate scheme to keep him in Vegas until Nick healed.

"Gil, harder, faster, something, anything, please," Greg gasped, his hips moving in counter-point to Gil's thrusts. "So good, you feel so good in me. I don't ever want to lose you. Love you so much." He cried out as his climax hit him from left field. Gil paused to ride through the clenching, enjoying it, before starting to thrust again. He was trying to give Greg as much pleasure as he could. His broken heart was still there, still aching in his chest, but all that mattered at that point was his lover and the feelings running through them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems like this all gets fixed quickly and Gil's pain is totally gone. But please guys, trust me on this, I've got the sequel all planned out.

Nick was both worried and surprised when Jim Brass showed up at the hospital to take him home.

"I've got your walking papers, Nicky, are you ready?"

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, Jim, but where's Greg?"

"Well, based on the noises from the master bedroom, I'd say he's probably too tired and sore to move," Jim said. He rolled his eyes. "They were at it most of the morning and again when I left for work."

"You seem awfully relaxed about all this, Jim," Nick commented, following the detective into the hall. "Hey, did you happen to see my folks hanging around?"

Jim looked smug. "Your mother was insisting they be able to take you back to Texas," he said. "She didn't want to believe you'd put anyone like Gil and Greg in charge of your medical decisions. Gil got them squared away in the end and, once they saw you were healing, went on back to Texas. I think Gil had something to do with that, actually."

"He and my father don't get along," Nick said. "Now how about answering the question."

"I'm saving my freak outs for when I actually need them," Jim said. "Although if I never have to hear Gil Grissom moaning 'harder Greg' then I'll be a happy man."

Nick started laughing. "Yeah, you've probably learned more about Gil than you really wanted to know," he said. "Thanks for keeping him safe for me."

"You're welcome." ********************

Jim just dropped Nick off saying he didn't think he'd be able to stomach hearing Greg and Gil again. Nick took the handcuff key with a smile and made his way slowly into the house. 

Nick knew he had a lot of healing to do before anyone would even think about letting him back into the field but right then his only thought was to make sure that both his partners would be there at his side. He wasn't sure how much, if any; Gil and Greg had actually talked although Nick was positive Gil wouldn't have given in without some serious conversation first. He reset the security code behind him and made his way to the master bedroom.

The sight that greeted him brought tears to Nick's eyes. Gil was in the middle of their bed, naked, with his black shirt tangled up around the cuffs holding his right arm to the bed. Greg was draped over Gil's chest, hands tangled in the sheets and face pressed in against the older man's soft neck. It looked like neither of them had had the energy to move and just collapsed where they landed.

Moving as quietly as he could, Nick undid the handcuffs and set them aside to return to Jim. Then he stripped off his t-shirt and jeans before joining his lovers in bed. With so much bare skin waiting to be touched and tasted, Nick wasn't entirely sure where he wanted to start. Both men had been through so much that he wanted to make everything better so, as he did his own healing, Nick wouldn't have to worry about Gil leaving them.

Finally coming to a decision Nick leaned in and took Gil in his mouth, relishing the flavors that lingered. Nick could taste both his lovers and he sucked to get as much of them as he could.

Gil was beyond tired. He'd been on an emotional roller coaster for too long and then once he got Greg back his body decided it was young again and now he could feel it waking up far too soon. His first thought was that Greg was awake and trying to get his attention but as Gil's brain started receiving input from his body, he realized that Greg was still draped across him. Then Gil realized there was no way to mistake the mouth surrounding his rapidly hardening erection.

"Nicky," Gil whispered, reaching down to tangle his fingers in that silky brown hair he loved so much.

"Umph, Gil, trying to sleep," Greg muttered, shifting around. He froze when his legs encountered another body. "Nick!" Greg moved around so fast that both Nick and Gil started laughing. "You're home, you're home," Greg repeated as he feathered kisses over Nick's face.

Gil watched his two young lovers for a moment, happy to see them both so happy. He knew he'd made the right choice getting Ecklie to put his people back together. He wouldn't worry so much if he knew that Nicky and Greg could keep an eye on each other at the lab. And, if he had to leave, he knew they'd be able to take care of the other.

"Hey, you planning to sit there all day or are you going to join us?" Nick asked, pulling Gil's mind back to the two men in bed with him.

"Maybe I just want to watch you," Gil teased. "I'm an old man and Greg kept me very busy for most of the night."

Nick and Greg looked at each other for a moment before pouncing on their older lover, pinning him to the bed. "Would you like me to hold him down for you, Nicky?" Greg asked. "I'm sure he's still stretched and slick from when I took him earlier. Think how good it would feel to bury yourself inside him, to know that you've marked Gil as yours."

"Can I do that, Gil?" Nick asked, reaching for the lube. "Can I be in you?"

"Yes," Gil moaned, spreading his legs. He wanted to feel Nick in him so badly it almost hurt. He needed to be able to feel that Nick was alive and with him again.

Nick slicked down his erection and was just starting to push into Gil when two slick fingers entered him from behind. "Let's make a Nicky sandwich," Greg whispered, twisting his fingers with skilled ease. "I think we need to show you exactly how special you are."

"Gods, Greggo, need you so much," Nick moaned, trying not to push back against the fingers tormenting him as he didn't want to pull out of Gil. "Now, Greg, please."

Grissom reached up and pulled Nick down for a kiss as Greg pushed home, all three men moaning at the sensations. Greg was the first to move, pulling back slowly and encouraging Nick to move as well. Gil wrapped his arms around Nick and shifted until his feet were resting on Greg's lower legs. "Do it," he whispered, voice breaking with the tears he could feel running down his face. "Hard."

The two younger men understood the whispered plea and started moving, timing their thrusts as close together as they could to give Gil as much pleasure as possible. But it was Nick, with the most stimulation, who came first. He cried out and buried his face against Gil's nick, nuzzling into the soft skin he loved so much. Greg was next as Nick's body tightening around him was just too much.

As they collapsed to the side of their older lover, Nick realized that Gil hadn't climaxed. He nudged Greg and made a small hand signal. Gil jumped when two tongues snaked over his erection. His mind flew back to the last time his lovers had done that; under his desk at the lab. Gil's hands went down to tangle in Nick and Greg's hair, pleasure spiking through his body. After what seemed like forever and nowhere near long enough, Gil's body tightened and he came harder than he had in a long time. He was floating as he was cleaned up and urged under the covers. Nick and Greg cuddled up on either side and they all fell asleep.  
********************

When Gil woke up he found the bed empty but could smell coffee and bacon. He wondered for a moment why his alarm hadn't gone off but remembered that he had the night off to give Catherine some graveyard supervisory experience.

"Morning, Gil," Nick said when his partner joined him and Greg in the kitchen.

Gil raised an eyebrow and looked at the clock, it was eight at night.

"You know what I mean," Nick said, passing down a mug of coffee. "Greg was just telling me you agreed to stay for six months to give us a chance. Are you going to move out of our bedroom?"

"I haven't really thought about it," Gil replied. "Greg kept me busy after I agreed."

"Yeah, I heard," Nick smirked. "By the way, Jim says he never wants to hear you moaning 'harder Greg' as long as he lives."

"He was here?" Gil asked, looking over at Greg, who turned red.

"Oops," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Jim and I thought you were suicidal," Nick said. "He probably wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself."

"And I didn't trust myself enough not to leave you cuffed to the bed," Greg said. "I don't have a heart that's hard enough."

Gil snorted. "You found plenty to do with me when I was cuffed and helpless," he said. "To answer your original question, Nicky, I don't think I can sleep without both of you with me."

"Good, because I was planning to ask Jim where I could buy as set of handcuffs," Nick said. "Just in case you decided to try and run in the middle of the day."

"And we have something that belongs to you," Greg said. He pulled Gil's pendant from his pocket and walked over to stand behind his lover. "Don't ever take this off again, no matter how stupid I am." He secured the pendant's chain and kissed the back of Gil's neck. "I know I have a lot of work to do, just remember I do love you."

Gil smiled at Greg and then looked at Nick. "What about you?" he asked. "What did the doctors say?"

"Physically I'm fine," Nick said. "Once they got me stable and some anti-venom in me. They did say I've got to see the department shrink to get released for duty."

Gil took Nick's hand. "You weren't exactly acting sane when we pulled you out and being buried alive is a real trauma. I would have insisted on Dr. Kane even if they hadn't."

"I was freaking out because my fan shut down or broke or something," Nick said. "I knew I was dead. I was about to kill myself because I wanted some control back."

"The fan didn't break, Nicky," Gil said. "Your kidnapper gave us a set amount of time in which to find you and told us you'd be dead after that. He picked up on something because he asked me what you meant to me. I wanted to tell him I'd give my life to have you back but I didn't want him to have any more power than he already did."

"You still found me in time," Nick said, squeezing Gil's hand. "And I refuse to let this tear me or tear us apart. I'm stronger than that mad man and I'm going to prove it."

Gil pulled Nick into a hug, opening his arms to include Greg as well. "You are stronger than him, Nicky, but I want you to promise me something. Don't hide from us. If I'm going to be open about what's going through my mind then I want you to do the same. That's the only way we're going to be able to rebuild this relationship."

"I promise," Nick said, nuzzling into Gil's neck. "I don't want to lose either of you."

"We don't want to lose you either, Nicky," Greg said. "We love you so much."

Gil pressed a kiss to the side of Nick's face and felt, for the first time since he was taken from them, that everything would eventually be okay.


End file.
